Iswear i don't love her right?
by Jackie.parris1123
Summary: Sam after a lot of thought, visiting an oracle and a personal breakdown learns something that shocks her... she loves her best friend. now the only problem is, how does she tell Carly? CAM don't like don't read! rated T could change to M later
1. a key and notes

**Disclaimer: if I owned ICarly do you think I would be writing fan fictions? No, besides if I did the show would have had to be shown on Logo, or some other LGBT TV channel. I can only wish that the right magically is sent to me and I can redo the show with them older and yes have it be Cam, and Freddie can be a bum for all I care! No I like Freddie… oh right… I don't own! g/g don't like don't read! **

**So hey I wrote this a while ago, found it in my drawer of given up attempts which I don't know why it was in there… oh well! Hope you enjoy! And Carry on! **

**Jackie**

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Sam slowly opened her left eye, then her right. The room was dark and the sheets felt unfamiliar. Why did they not feel soft? And why couldn't she hear breathing beside her? Using her arm to feel next to her, she couldn't feel anyone. _Oh, right I'm not at Carly's._ The blonde groaned getting out of bed. Her bed wasn't soft; it wasn't like sleeping on a cloud. It was hard, evil and made her back hurt. Turning one way, then the other, she heard the popping and cracks she forgot she had when she slept here. Her room was dull now, all of her stuff was basically at Carly's house, and she didn't even know why she came here anymore.

She remembered that Carly had left with Spencer to go to L.A. where her father was visiting for a week. Why did she turn down the invite to go? She didn't even know. Her father liked her, and would probably assume that she would have gone. I mean her and Carly were basically attached at the hip. She glanced over to where her sister would have been if she were here. Her sides of the room left untouched the bed still the same, the pillows still thrown on last minute so she could catch a plane. Sam huffed and walked out of the room. A shower would do her some good.

The water was as hot as Sam could take it, her hands supporting her on the wall in front of her so she could let the water hit her head and back at the same time. Her mind wondered over ideas for the next ICarly. Maybe she could surprise Carly with it, after all she never really gave input. With a smile that would creep out Fredweirdo she got out and took the only clothes she had there and put them back on. Now to the ICarly studio, she'd have to enter through a window or pick the lock but oh well.

Her feet now lead her down the same path as always, she didn't need to look, she didn't need to stop and question her location, and she knew exactly where she was going. She ignored the sleeping doorman, though she would have loved to scare him shitless. The stairs seemed inviting as she took her time to get to Carly's floor. Freddie's mom passed her on the way down, she stuck her nose into the air and didn't say a word. That was fine by Sam; she never liked the bitch anyway.

Sam reached the hall where her best friend's door was and paused. She had never picked the lock of her friend's door, it was always open… it gave her an uneasy feeling for the first time to do it. The door seemed different now, like it was sacred and she shouldn't even touch it, but then a note caught her eye, and she picked it up.

_Sam, _

_How did I know you would come here? I've been gone maybe a day or two yea? Well don't pick the door you have your own key. Remember when we played out in the hall and the nerf dart landed in a weird location? Managed to stick even though it wasn't a surface it could? That's where your key is. You can thank Spencer later. It was his idea. _

_See you in a few days!_

_Love Carly _

She folded the note gently, she never got a love Carly before, she was sure it was nothing. But it was different so she wanted to keep it nice. Sam had to think back about three months ago to when the nerf gun war happened….

It was a no school day, and Sam sat on her couch with a bored expression. "Come on Carls! I want to do ANYTHING please just save me from this boredom!" that's when the small orange dart hit her forehead and stuck. Carly started laughing and tossed the other gun on the far side of the couch before she ran out the door. "You are a dead girl Shay!" Sam jumped faster than Carly thought and soon had the orange foam bullets coming right at her. They shot and played around for two hours, until Carly got hit in the head and made a dramatic death scene as she fell to her knees and called out. "E tu Sam?" Sam had laughed and helped Carly to her feet. Now came the worst part, finding all the damn bullets. Some were on walls but most on the floor. Sam walked over to the tree in the corner and started to laugh hysterically. "Carly look where one got stuck!" Carly walked over and joined Sam in laughing. One of the nerf bullets was stuck on a leaf, upside down….

Sam walked over to the tree, there in the soil half way buried and covered lightly with a leaf was a silver key. Sam took it and brushed off the dirt. She never had her own key for the Shay house. A smile blessed her face as she unlocked the door. The room was darker, so she clicked on a light. Spencer's newest sculpture was strangely cool looking, and it hadn't caught fire yet so there was hope.

She wondered into the kitchen, where another note caught her eye.

_Food is stocked up, ham, bacon, frozen pizza enjoy!_

_Love Carly_

Sam opened the fridge, after placing the next note by the first in her pocket. Indeed Ham galore! She took a large few slices and wondered to the couch. She decided maybe she wouldn't mind being alone for a few days here. Sam devoured her ham before she glanced at the coffee table looking for the remote. And again found a note. _What is it with the notes?_ Sam rolled her eyes at herself. "I like the fact there are notes." She spoke to no one but took it.

_Love to girly cow! Spencer says you have 80 dollar limit for PPV don't mess it up :) _

_Love Carly_

Sam thanked Spencer silently; there was a new horror movie she had been dying to watch. So flipping through the channels, she settled into the couch, after a half hour she fell asleep….

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**So that's the first chapter I guess. I remember why I didn't like this story but I will fix it! No worries my friends. I will make it worthy to read!**

**Carry on!**

**Jackie**


	2. old church street

**Disclaimer: if I owned ICarly do you think I would be writing fan fictions? No, besides if I did the show would have had to be shown on Logo, or some other LGBT TV channel. I can only wish that the write magically is sent to me and I can redo the show with them older and yes have it be Cam, and Freddie can be a bum for all I care! No I like Freddie… oh right… I don't own! g/g don't like don't read! **

**ok! So this isn't the best I've written for a CAM story, but I will finish it! Because that's how I roll! It was suppose to be three different stories but I'm going to combine them. It will make it longer and you don't have to hunt down the others if you even read it that is. Um… CARRY ONWARD!**

**Jackie**

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Sam woke an hour later to find the movie rolling the credits. _Well fuck._ She paid five dollars for that movie and she slept through it. It wasn't very good, something about a ghost, a baby and a guy obsessed with a video camera or something. That made Sam laugh thinking that that is how Freddie would end up. Looking to the window she saw the darkness of the sky. _It's getting late, I should go up and sleep…but without Carly?_ Sam sighed, she would need to sleep somewhere and the couch was soft, but not as sleep worthy as Carly's bed.

Sam took a soda from the fridge and began to walk up the stairs to the floor where sweet dreams awaited. Carly's door was slightly ajar, which Sam found a bit odd but put it behind her. A final note was found on the glass of the door. Sam laughed. How many of these bastards were there?

_Sam inside you will find it… different. But don't worry. I know. It's for you, you basically live here anyway. So happy early birthday! (yes I know it's months away but so is Christmas) _

_Love Carly_

Sam re read the note and honestly could not get the thought out of her head; it was what she wanted no doubt! She pushed open the door and felt herself choke up. Carly's room was split in half, half was still Carly's cute girly side, then the other was skater like, blacks, hot pinks, neon colors littered the wall and blankets of a new bed. She walked in staring at the things that were hers. She had a dresser, full of her pants and shorts even boxers of different styles. Her shirts now in the touch screen closet, a tab marked Sam was now next to Carly's.

Sam didn't remember the last time she had cried, when she let her emotions known. The tears fell on their own and she didn't stop them. The last thing that pushed her over was a green pillow with black frill on the sides and lettering that read "Sam Puckett's bed." Sam tossed the pillow back onto the bed, and carefully climbed on it. It sank under her weight just like Carly's bed. This must have cost her a lot of money from her savings to do this! Sam let herself cry longer until the need of sleep took over, not even bothering to put pajamas on, she climbed under the covers in just her boxers and sports bra. Sleep came in minutes.

"Sam I love you!" Sam turned trying to find the source of the voice, but couldn't see who spoke the words. "Sam." A sing song like call came. "Where are you?" she was in a field of purple lilacs and yellow daisies. "Sa-am!" the voice sang again. She knew that voice… why did she know that voice?

Sam woke. The alarm clock said it was just after seven am. "What a dream!" Sam stayed under her covers until her black hole reminded her of food. Sam again not worried about anyone coming inside, walked down in just her underwear. Being sneaky, she opened the main door, took the paper and closed it before anyone could have seen her. Starting her bacon and eggs, she took off the blue plastic and unfolded the paper. "The damn ducks won again." She didn't want to admit it, but she loved watching the lame old sports that people would think she wouldn't. She hated the Ducks but hated their home team too. She just loved watching it. Turning her bacon with one hand like an expert, she continued to read the paper. Then an ad caught her attention, which was weird. It wasn't an ad for ham discounts or something like that.

_Lady Blossoms tarot, palm reading and aura cleansing. Are you confused about life? Want the secrets your heart keeps from you? Come see me. _

Sam raised a brow at it, read on, and then went back to it. She shook her head and tossed the paper on the table as she finished making her breakfast. Sitting down at the island she ate her breakfast slowly. The ad kept coming to her mind. She always had wanted to see someone like that. Maybe it was a sign, she laughed at herself for thinking such nonsense. It was time for girly cow.

The TV flickered on, right on time her favorite show cam on. But it didn't seem the same watching it without Carly, right when she went to turn off the show an ad started playing. "Lady Blossom wants you to see her today! At 5454 old church road." Sam stood up and decided to dress herself, maybe shower again. This was going to be a slow day.

Sam was in the mood for a groovy smoothie, but her feet lead her away from the smoothie shop. Her pear phone buzzed a few times before she cared to see Freddie's name on the screen. "What?"

"I saw you pass the groovy smoothie, where you going?"

"I don't know, just wondering."

"Can I come with you? I got nothing to do and seeing a friend would be nice." Sam stopped walking. Yeah she and Freddie had become better friends, she tried not to torment the loser as much and he'd not insult her as much either. "Sure, hurry up." Then she hung up her phone. He joined her quickly, having a slightly heavy breath from the sprint. "Hey." He spoke trying to sound like the sprint didn't affect him as much as it did. "You didn't need to sprint. I stopped." He gave a quirky smile. "So where you going?" Sam shrugged as they began to walk. "Someplace called old church road I think. Don't know why. Never been there, could be cool." Freddie cocked his brow but followed anyway. "Cool, its a few streets down. It's by my fencing class." Sam rolled her eyes; of course the dork would know where the street was. But they kept walking until he pointed out the studio. "That's the street there. I'm going to check classes while I'm here; I'll catch up to you." Freddie turned and crossed the street to his studio while Sam kept walking down to the road he pointed at.

It was a residential street, but only one thing stood out. There was a small wooden post that held a sign. "Lady Blossom" Sam smirked; why she came she didn't care, but walked up to the porch and rang the bell. "Come in Samantha, I've been waiting for you. Please, please come sit." The door opened to reveal a woman who looked like she jumped out of a playboy magazine, only not naked. "You know my name?" she lady smiled, and ushered her in. "of course Samantha Puckett. U go by Sam. You have a sister who goes to a boarding school in a different country and you have been at your best friend's house alone for two days." Sam started to feel uneasy. "How?" the lady smiled. "I am Lady Blossom. I know all you didn't think about. Now, you came here because you felt drawn to know answers right? But your aura is too jumbled needs to be cleansed first." She was very straight forward which alerted Sam that this was way weird. "No worries child, you are safe here. This is for your benefit I charge nothing, but request an update every once in a while."

Sam looked at the woman who led her into a back room which was lit with candles, and somehow each candle's flame was a different color. "Now, if you look at those certificates please know I am a professional. Please take off your first layer of clothing and slip under the sheet, I'll be back." She left leaving Sam to ponder a moment…what was the harm? She could kick this woman's ass if she had too, so she slipped off her clothes and got on the table under the white sheet.

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**Ok, so it's a little better, but I don't know. I guess I'll get Jess to help me out. **

**Carry on! **

**Jackie**


	3. well shit

Sam heard Lady Blossom walk back into the room, the flames of all the candles flared for a moment then settled. "Ok Sam, remember I am a professional, all I am going to do is get your chi to flow freely again." Sam heard to pop of a cork from what she guessed was oil. The sheet was gently pulled down to her just above her butt. The oil when it touched her skin sent an electrical energy through her body. It was warm surprisingly and made her go limp on her back. When the soft hands touched her back Sam relaxed, every inch she touched was chilled like ice despite the warm oil. Her hands moved in a clockwise pattern, and she could feel something strange going on in her body, she could feel the tips of her toes, nose, fingers even her ears. "Your chi is twisted, so much so that had I not done this it would have lead to a mental breakdown." Sam wasn't really listening, but exploring all the new feeling she was receiving. It was like she had adrenaline coursing in her blood, she felt on top of the world. "Your aura is starting to clear." Sam mumbled something she didn't even know.

Her hands moved and the sheet was placed again, her arm was next to being pulled free of the cloth. When was firm cotton so soft? Sam didn't know. Lady Blossom again began to go in a clockwise motion. She could feel her muscles being freed, no ach no pain. Lady Blossom did this to each limb, then told Sam she could put her clothes back on. Sam was sad a moment that the massage was over but she felt incredible.

Her steps were light, like she was floating. Lady Blossom was sitting in the main room; more candles and quartz that made the room feel alive were seen. "Come, now that your aura is clear, I can read you fully. Take a bone and toss it into the fireplace." Sam noticed the small ember fire and shrugged, taking a bone. The fire cracked the dried bone in multiple places. "I see." Was all she spoke before pulling out cards and mixing them? "I want you to pick three but do not look." Sam nodded taking three and handing them back to her. "Your cards are very clear my dear, oh this is wonderful! It makes perfect sense." Sam began to move uneasy, she wanted to know things but this was weird. "My dear, you have a great future. Kids? I see two. Ah yes this is what you wanted to know." She glanced at Sam and smiled. "You want to know why you feel such things that make no sense at all to you. Why now why that person yes?" Sam nodded not really sure what she was talking about. "You are in love with your best friend."

"Freddie? Hell no!"

"Not Fredward Benson. The other, the one who has been there for a long time. Carlotta Shay."

"Well shit…wait what? Lady are you sure? Last time I checked I wasn't gay!" Lady Blossom laughed. "Samantha, just because you love a girl doesn't mean you are gay, in fact Pan Sexuality is very common, you don't see her as a girl, you see her as someone who loves you no matter the reason or things you do. The fact she is female means nothing to you. So no Sam, you just see things a different way, no genders, you see love." Sam paused then looked away. Why did that sound true? Sam stood ready to leave this crazy lady, when she stopped. "Kids? Wait I'm going to have two kids?" Lady blossom smiled. "You will have one and Carlotta will have one." Sam felt her heart pound, kids…with Carly? A smile quickly came and went. "How do you know so much?" Lady Blossom only smiled. "Let's just say I have a gift." Sam smiled and reached out to shake her hand. "I will be back, maybe once this settles."

"That sounds very wise Sam." Sam turned to leave again put stopped in the doorway. "What are the kid's last names?"

"Puckett." Sam smiled and walked out. She walked down the street, Freddie waiting for her at the corner. "You were gone for like two hours! Where did you go?" Sam smiled and Freddie flinched. "To see a friend who helped give me advice. Come on Freddie we need to talk."

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Freddie choked on his smoothie. "What?" Sam looked down now a little ashamed. "I think I'm in love with Carly." Freddie sat back a dumb look on his face. How the hell to comprehend that? He didn't know but the look in Sam's eyes she was terrified. "Okay." Sam tilted her head. "That's it? No she's mine butt out and let me be her knight?" Freddie sighed. "To be honest, I have been waiting for the person to take her away from me, to be the one she falls so helplessly for that I become the ghost in the room. But at least I know now, if she feels the same, I lost to the best." Sam let a tear escape then quickly punched a random kid that past them. "Stupid kid always annoys me in class." She lied, but Freddie knew and he didn't say a word.

Later that night when Sam used her key to get into the apartment she felt weird. Her stomach was doing flip flops and she didn't even want ham. Sam not wanting ham, what the hell was wrong with her? She mumbled trying in vain to eat the piece she had in front of her. But it just tasted bland. She looked at her pear phone and sighed, Carly wouldn't be home for a few days. She began to punch the couch she had moved too and couldn't help but feel extremely bored.

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When Sam woke she had a mess of brown hair in her vision. She grunted trying to sit up, but felt the pressure on her chest. "Carly?" she whispered. The brunette lifted her head and yawned. "morning Sammy."


End file.
